Let's talk about the over-reliance on "self-care" as a response to people who are experiencing trauma and distress.

Let's talk about how mashing that button as soon as we hear discomfort from the client can be invalidating and therapy alliance interfering /destroying.

Let's talk about how therapists and helpers use this button in place of attending or sitting in the discomfort.

Let's talk about how solution-focused therapy isn't culturally appropriate for everyone. Putting the burden back on the client to fix the presenting issue with self-soothing and reframing can masquerade as a tool to reduce the tension of the helper, and not on the one seeking help.

Here are some tips: Humility, Simple Vulnerability, Silence, Listening, Not making false equivocations to your own experiences, and taking up space explaining how you can kind of relate. Put down the cape and settle into the reality that you have no idea. Uncomfortable? Good. Stay there in that common ground and support your client.

This message was for therapists but is generalizable. Do the things.